States of shadow and light – how these see-saw in our being. Just when we seem poised on even keel, something stirs to take us into a cavern of noise both familiar and seemingly reprehensible. This noise is not marked by decibels, but arises from reflections and memories that stir various emotions.
Today was like any other day; I left to attend a meeting at my college. After some nice moments of discussion, a conflict arose at our meeting over who attends or does not attend a meeting — and they should, shouldn’t they?! These stirred old notes, as I recalled four years of such conflicts in our department.
Nurturing conflict by insisting on “feelings” creates more issues than it resolves. And righteousness can stir sense of power, which detracts from what is the issue. A suggestion to discuss matters on our department site was left hanging. I let it go.
Somehow ensconced in uncomfortable bucket seats pushes fighting decibels higher in a closed neon-lit room. The room fills with breathless notes and unhappy faces. Issues are not resolved. Instead, we must recognize our humanity when we have chosen to work in an environment devoted to nurturing youth to remember who they are and to recognize their potential as they prepare for this vast world with dwindling resources as uncertainty claps us into the future.
But can this uncertainty itself also stir in us the call of beauty as we scramble to deal with changes in systems and in our lives? I wish our colleges were run with wisdom. We need depth teachings and creative and enlivening pedagogy – I can only dream of such a shift.
On my way back home, I stopped at Sprouts to buy fruit. A big luscious papaya seemed just right. The late afternoon slipped into evening, and I was reminded of the ongoing dance of shadow of difficult encounters. But I know that grace also resides in such moments.
A friend visited in the evening with a branch of a tree I had requested for my Earth Cabaret performance in Venice. I felt it as an olive branch, but it became more than that. In our brief conversation, sadness stirred hint of tears in my eyes, which permeated my this shared space. I chose to instantly dissolve it; lightness of being arose.
We cohabit many shared spaces; each moment is a dynamic venn diagram of countless circles. Seeing our tender moments affecting others makes us realize our vulnerability and theirs, places of tremendous learning. We are each held in sacred space when we become aware of shadow-light unities.
After he left, I looked at the two branches sitting on my carpet against a mirror with golden frame. This branch with beautiful leaves elegant by natural design and intention of kindness brought me back to center; I placed the branch in water in a blue bucket. This branch became a living presence of grace.
I sat in meditation. My slow deep breathing awared me to space of my body-being; I felt my spine clear. Gradually, my wise ones appeared around me, ones who have visited me here and elsewhere: Maha Avtar Babaji, Anandamayi Ma, Christ in light beam, my/our Beloved Mahavidyas.
Our natural ongoing multi-dimensional mobius yin-yang dance with shadow-light brings powerful teachings. So we accept the dyad as we ache for the beauty of our own unique expression wherever our feet touch earth.
Feel it so dear Ones – for passion’s ache
stretches your fingers into wings
as grace breathes each feather into place
Stay Blessed, Beloveds!